Spectre

Jetting across the global from Mexico to Morocco on a one man mission from beyond the grave, Mr Bond (James Bond) chases ghosts and chases girls to get to the puppet-master, in order to break the binds that have been holding him for longer than he even realised.

The film hit the ground running with James Bond (Daniel Craig) on a mission in Mexico to thwart Marco Sciarra who intends to blow up a stadium, amidst the backdrop of Dia de Los Muertos. The costumes, the chaos and the carnival added a fun filled adrenaline rush to the hunt which unfolded through an epic tracking shot that was smooth, stylish and seamless and introduced Mr Bond in the most debonair way.

With a heart thumping mid-air helicopter fight scene, where Bond succeeds in getting what he was after all along - Sciarra's Octopus ring, he heads back to London to face the music of his unauthorised mission. The new M (Ralph Fiennes) who has no time for Bond's games as he deals with the possible disbandment of the 00 programme, led by C (Andrew Scott) grounds him until further notice.

But M should know better than to try and put a new leash on an old dog. With the help of his motley crew of Q and Moneypenny, watching his back in London, Bond heads off to finish what he started.

Spectre was an odd film. It is a little hard to explain, but  I felt as though everything had been turned down slightly; the light in the room wasn't as bright, the colours weren't as sharp and the smell was more of a memory than an actuality. Don't leave, let me explain!

For example; the tried and tested James Bond clichés; the girls, the drinks, the whit, all fell a little short this time around. Granted there were some pretty decent fight scenes, but - to sound completely sadistic - no one was beaten to pulp, or left bloody and broken. Finally there were no super impressive gadgets and gizmo's. It was as if the whole film was working on auto pilot leaving everything feeling tired, old and a little forced.

I read that with up to a $300 million (almost £200 million) budget, Spectre is one of the most expensive film ever made. Frankly it seemed like a complete waste of money, which they - excuse the pun - blew on a number of unnecessary explosions that even the film couldn't quite mask its believability in. Another tactic they used to try and reinforce the believability of the plot, was to make as many references to the last three Bond films as possible in order to try to force the relevancy of Spectre down our throats. Luckily we were all able to cough up that bullshit.

At 148 minutes, (almost two and a half hours), the film felt way too long, and that's coming from someone who has sat and watched Lord of The Rings, which runs at approximately 178 minutes (almost three hours) countless of times. Aside from the pits of boredom that made the film drag slightly, I believe the fundamental reason for this is that James Bond is essentially an action series, and they tried to make Spectre a Drama.

As I have said during my reviews of Mission: Impossible Rouge Nation, and A Good Day To Die Hard; the plot for an action movie does not need to be too complicated, as long as there are legendary fight and chase scenes the audience is happy. By trying to weave an intricate web of interconnecting factors, the film forewent its primary objectives which caused indifference and boredom amongst viewers.

Maybe it was just me and my impeccable skills of movie predictability, but when the signs are all there, you just have to read them, and that's the issue with typecasting. As soon as I saw the actor Andrew Scott, it was pretty much akin to seeing Marion Cotlliard in pretty much anything. You could argue the same thing for Christopher Waltz, however the difference is; he was the villain in the beginning and he was a villain in the end, no twist and no turns necessary.

At the end of the day when all is said and done, I was very disappointed with Spectre. Sure it was an okay film, but the rawness and the passion was gone from James Bond and ultimately the film itself. Call me harsh for my rating, but when you set the bar high, the audience expect a damn good spectre-cal.

Pan

Being that Joe Wright is one of my favourite directors, I have more or less been stalking this film since its announcement with Mr Wright at the helm. I literally remember when they were doing the casting call to find their Pan. Now, approximately two years later, we have the end result. But was is worth the wait?

Our titular character (Levi Miller) seems to be living a relatively cheerful and mischievous life despite the harshness of his reality; Abandoned by his mother, and living in an orphanage under a cruel and highly unattractive mistress during World War II.

He is soon taken out of one dire situation and placed slap bang into the middle of another, kidnapped and transported to Neverland, Pan get his first sighting of Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman). Extravagantly dressed amid the drab clothing of those around him, he rouses spirits with songs and promises (Are you not entertained?!), before forcing thousands of boys and men to mine for Fairy Dust for him - which they just do, no questions asked.

It is here that Pan meets James Hook (Garrett Hedlund) together they manage to escape Blackbeard's camp with little more than luck and happy thoughts. Hook wants off the Island of Neverland, whilst Pan wants to stay and search for his mother, who left a note with him as a baby, saying that she would see him again, in this world or another.

I won't go into to much depth of Tiger Lilly (Rooney Mara) and her Holi Colour Run Tribe that live in the forest except to say it's a wonder they have managed to survive a war and continued rebelliance with Blackbeard and his merry men.

Mostly with this film I have questions;

There were three major pitfalls for me in the movie, the first was the lack of any proper explanation.
There look to be well of five thousand boys and men that Blackbeard has presumably kidnapped, and yet none of them have found a way to escape into the vast forest and disappear forever? Or work together to commandeer a ship and fly back home? We understand why Blackbeard wants the dust, but we don't know how he got to Neverland, as clearly you can't sail there. The man is Blackbeard for goodness sake, one of the fiercest pirates to sail the seven seas. He is a legend, sure, but that still doesn't mean he should be commandeering a flying ship in Neverland - lets not get crazy.

The second is the poor and more than slightly over the top acting from Garrett Hedlund as Hook. He sounded like a British person putting on a fake mid-western American accent, and moved about like a Scarecrow that wasn't too sure of which limb did what. This was incredibly disappointing as Hedlund had the right look and boyish charm to pass for a young Hook, still full of hope and innocence. I have seen him in various other roles, and he is an okay actor, which leads me to believe that he was directed to act in that manner.

Finally, yes, we all know the story of Peter Pan, there was no need to make so many not so cryptic references like; "So pirates are afraid of Mermaid Lagoon?" "Because of crocodiles." "[Hook quickly sticks his hand out of the water]" and "Always be friends, Hook." "Always. It can't possibly go wrong." That kind of stuff is usually funny, I won't deny I'm an advocate for an easy laugh, but for some reason it just didn't work and became more cringing with each new remark.

All in all, although this may have been an origin story for Peter Pan, I was left with more questions than answers, and feel that as an "Origin Story" it should have answered not just the question of where Peter Pan came from, but of Neverland too. Who knows, perhaps such questions were meant to be answered in a sequel, for which they left a wide opening at the end of the film, but if my viewing was all we were basing it off of, I wouldn't hold my breath.

Sorry Mr Wright, I love 90% of your work, but for you, this movie was just wrong,

Hitman: Agent 47

I feel like "Hitman" was too strong of a word for what our bald headed protagonist did, sure he went around killing people, but so does James Bond. Hitman is also too weak a word to really embody who he was as a person. I think a more suitable title for this film would be: Protector: I'll Kill Those Who Wish You Harm, or Emotionless: Does Not Compute.

Moving on.
The actual storyline once you get past the action was confusing at best and ridiculously far fetched at worst. The Syndicate, to no avail, have been trying to recreate the work of geneticist Peter Litvenko who is responsible for successfully genetically modifying humans to be the perfect killers. Suddenly realising that his research was going to be used for evil, you know, as opposed to good, he went under the radar and has not been seen since. Given up on tracking him down, the Syndicate change tactics on discovering that he had a daughter, who they automatically assume must hold the answers to her fathers whereabouts.

Sadly, Katia van Dees (Hannah Ware) is nothing short of a crazy person. Having dedicated her life to finding the man she believes is her father with barely anything to go on she has come up short. What she does know is the future. For reasons that make no sense even when explained she can see just far enough into the future to know when danger will be coming. Enter Agent 47 who is tasked by his handler at the International Contracts Agency to stop the Syndicate getting their hands on the information to Litvenko's whereabouts, by any means necessary (but as a contract killer, surely there is only one means deemed necessary?)

Plot aside, the film as a whole was just very.... messy. What I really want to know is why genetic manipulation on the basis that you are completely emotionless, gives you the power to see the future? I understand intuition but some of the shit in this film is just straight up hands down silly. So silly that they couldn't explain the reasoning for their own imagination and so they just glazed over it and hoped that nobody would notice it. News Flash: We Did.

There were a number of awkward moments when Katia would say something that was clearly meant to be funny and yet the entire cinema remained judgementally silent, the only noise from the audience was the ruffled sounds of comfortableness that filled the intended for laughter pause on the big screen.

I would say that if nothing else, after the laziness of the plot, the mockery of the casting and the realms of believability being so far stretched beyond it's own story world - Rupert Friend did a superb job of the virtually (see what I did there? It's because it's based on a video game) unstoppable Agent 47. He pulled off a look that was both cute and creepy; a looking that many a sex offender still can't embody.

It is for my Friend that I award this film one unicorn, it was a shame that it wasn't a bigger hit man. Sadly, no matter how much I want to pull this film up by even half a unicorn, they are sacred beasts that shouldn't be wasted on films that didn't put in the time or effort to produce something even half decent.

Straight Outta Compton

This autobiographical film tells the story of 80's hip hop group N.W.A, specifically artists; Dr Dre, Ice Cube and Eazy E. The film depicts their rise to fame and fall from grace as they deal with the hardships of life, friendship and racial inequality.

Indifference is the best word to describe my feelings when I heard about this film. I never intended to see it in cinema, and if it wasn't for some friends suggesting it - as there was nothing else on that I would waste my time seeing - then I never would have seen it.

The progression of the lives of the main characters from children to adults almost seems to fictional to be true. Fuelled by their passion for music and success despite the Compton backdrop of gangs, drugs and violence, and turning their rage from their constant prejudice and mistreatment into a relatable political stature is truly powerful.

Despite the pain, despite the struggle and despite the oppression, there was a lighter side to the group, they didn't let the fact that they could be arrested for walking funny get them down. They laughed, at one another, with one another and they had each others back, no matter what would happen later on you could see that they had a connection, they were more than friends, they were brothers.

Naturally music is a huge component of this film, but I think it works so well because the music the artists make is about their lives, and so you find yourself nodding along to the beat, raising a hand to testify, and feeling as though you have gone through the same struggle they have, as essentially you have witnessed it to... Not quite on the mean streets of Compton, but from a comfortable cinema seat on a Sony 4k Digitally Projected Screen.

Despite the irony of me writing this review for you, I think for me going into this film more or less blind, with no expectations or prior historical knowledge of the films basis, really allowed me to be more receptive.

Hands down this is probably one of the best films I have seen this year, so I suggest you get straight outta your house and go and see it.

Mission: Impossible - Rouge Nation

I will keep this review shorter than Tom Cruise and start by saying that similarly to what I wrote about seeing Fast and Furious...and basically any action fuelled film ever made, you don't tune in for the moving plot, emotional character journey or Oscar worth performances. Not that it would be Mission: Impossible for any of those things to happen, just very unlikely, and so Tom Cruise being very much aware of the rules, went right on ahead and reprised his role as Ethan Hunt.

The film starts off at at 100 miles an hour... well more around 55 knots an hour, as Ethan Hunt "boards" a plane to recover information he believes will help the CIA believe in the existence of The Syndicate - an international criminal organisation.

Naturally, said international criminal organisation will not allow Hunt to do so, and thus they steal his proof, capture him and begin torturing him. While he is basically slacking off, the Impossible Mission Force faces threat of disbandment for their chaotic tactics in getting the job done, a feat that is being spearheaded by the CIA.

Hunts mission, should he choose to except it (though when has he not?) is to escape capture, prove the existence of the Syndicate, look cool in a tuxedo, engage in a chase scene, re-enact the fight scene from Elijah Wood's Piano, and out smart the girl.

They call this mission impossible, but I could probably do all that with my eyes closed, my hands tired behind my back, and in heels. Either way the film was as Okay as expected, and though I hope that they just let the character of Ethan Hunt rest so that they can reprise him with a younger model... I will probably be finding an inventive way to rehash this review in two years when Mission: Impossible - Never Going To  End, makes its way onto the big screen.

Antman

There has been a lot of talk about this film, and therefore I won't bother boring you with another long draw out semi-analysis of it's strengths and it's weaknesses.

All I will do is start by saying that I really enjoyed Antman. It was fun, it was funny and despite the weird mixture of a B and Z list cast, the dynamic worked really well. There were times that I was doubled over in laughter at some of the ANTics (see what I did there).

I will just tell you what I told everyone who told me that claimed they didn't like this film; If you stop looking at it like an Avengers tie-in and started looking at like a stand alone movie.  What do you think about it then?

They all agreed that the film was pretty darn good.

So if you have had any doubts about seeing this film, all I'll say is; Just enjoy it at it's face value... It's about a funny man who can shrink down to be as small an ant.

Tomorrowland

Now we all know that Brit Robinson is cursed, kind of in the same way my guy Leonardo Di Caprio is, they're doing everything right but for some reason they just still aren't getting it.

I have a few question for you all.

Who doesn't love the idea of a parallel universe? Where the greatest creations birthed from our most wild and outlandish theories can be explored and created? Can come to life and live? To allow you the opportunity to try and fail in a warm environment with like minded individuals? 

Boring idiots that's who. 

The idea of Tomorrowland is an interesting concept to say the least, one that we are invested in from the very beginning as we follow young and eager Frank Walker (Thomas Robinson) as he takes his latest invention; a Jet Pack, to the New York Worlds Fair. We are supportive and swept up in his Can-Do, Young Believer attitude, and wish him nothing but success, candy, rainbows and all his hearts desires - Yes, the love for little Frank that was strong, the love for Casey Newton (Britt Robertson) on the other hand - not so strong. Not that we didn't admire her unearthly optimism, it's just one thing for a ten year old to be blindly optimistic and adorably naive, but for a peppy blonde chick who seems to be pushing 21? Not so much.
Luckily Casey's overall juvenile behaviour is shadowed by the presence of the sweet and delightfully British, Athena (Raffey Ccassidy) and George Clooney. The former plays the role of guardian/muse to both Frank and Casey as well as clearly being part ninja preforming some pretty unexpected moves on a couple of foes, whilst the latter did a very convincing job of playing the seemingly unwilling, grumpy and thus pessimistic, crazy and so paranoid, genius.

. 
In retrospect, the singular aspect that really confused me was who the bad guys were. In a sense the bad guys were to a certain extent the good guys too, tainted in our eyes by the way they allowed their belief in Survival of the fittest to direct their objectives, no matter how selfish it seemed. I suppose at the end of the day Tomorrowland is a Disney movie, and so to much emphasis on a really "Bad" character who didn't seem either a little camp, or over the top stereotypical stroke my curled moustache cue evil cackle, wouldn't make a Disney movie what it was.
A greater insight into what Tomorrowland actually does, in terms of it's aim and even origins would have been nice, even if it was in a casual sentence would have at least given the audience a general scope of the story-world, really solidifying that Tomorrowland could actually exist in the viewers world. Linked to that the film could have really explored some of the great inventions Tomorrowland prodigies had churned out. It seemed as though the film had so much to give and so gave a little bit of everything which summed up to a whole lot of nothing leaving us with an insatiable need to know more, and an upsetting realisation that we never would.
Overall it is a shame this film wasn't well received, and even though figures are still rolling in, this film hasn't been given a fair chance at success, this time I may have to leave Brit alone, as this films marginal failure can be chalked up to a lack of proper marketing by Disney, who are clearly still to busy cashing in their cheques from Frozen to really devote any attention to anything else.

Now that I've said my peace, it's up to you whether you want to blame the general presence of Britt Robinson for Tomorrowland not doing so well Today.

Jurassic World

Don't be fooled by Chris Pratt's get up -  this isn't an Indiana Jones remake.

I won't lie, it's been a long long time since I have watched Jurassic Park, I would even go as far as to say it was sometime in the late 90's, but I still very proudly possess the VHS copy of the film - somewhere - so please excuse the lack of comparative remarks between the 1993 to 2001 films.

When brothers Zach and Grey Mitchell (Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins) get what I can only describe as banished, to Jurassic World you begin to question if their parent knew that there was a chance they wouldn't come back alive. I say this taking into consideration that they are sent to spend time with their Aunt Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) the parks Operation Manager, who if by nothing but her sharp haircut, you can tell has a million and one other things to do than watch a pair of kids she barely knows. In particular monitoring the progress of the Indominus a captivity made and bred dinosaur, assured to bring in revenue for the already popular tourist attraction.

Well clearly the only fan of  Notorious B.I.G was Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) the parks Velociraptor trainer, otherwise more people would have held an air of caution when it came to engineering the weirdly named Indominus - with a name like that, it's no wonder that thing was so misunderstood... not that that excuses it's behaviour. Owen Grady is full of mystery, we are given no back story about our knight in dull khakis (perhaps being saved for the potential sequel?), all we know is that for whatever reason he trains velociraptors and has been previously acquainted with Aunt Claire. Despite the fact that these two butt heads, when the clock starts ticking and the hunt is on, he is the first person Aunt Claire turns too in her time of need as their foes creep about both within the extensive Park and inside their own walls.

I think my main issue with Jurassic World, is that my inner emotional dial didn't quite know where to point. One second the music is all new frontier, happy go lucky 1960's sunshine adventure, then it flips on you to dark and twisty, jump at every shadow nail bitingly foreboding. It was as if the producers couldn't decide whether to make this film a 12A or a 15 and so tethered ever so carefully on the line that divided the two, when in all honesty they should have taken the plunge - No guts no glory.

Overall this movie was boss, there was clever and humorously placed references to the original Jurassic Park trilogy, (special shout out to Jake Johnson for that) but not he the point that first timers were left lost. The actors they used - minus the overbearing and over emotional mother - worked for what it was, meaning that it felt fresh, no massive names to already slightly taint your opinion on the film, or to expect a certain style of acting of filming. But at the end of the day the most important thing was that the film was good enough to have me by the end, wishing that I could skip off to Jurassic World to have a gay.... and potentially life threatening ol' time.

Pitch Perfect 2

Are we going to miss them when they're gone?

Will we miss them by their hair?

Will we miss them everywhere?

In all honesty, no probably not.

(Aca-embarrasing)

So this film picks up three years later, as the Barden Bella’s are in their final year of college, still going strong as the schools leading a cappella group. That is until what we'll call a "Blunder Down Under" causes the Bella’s to be suspended, which means no appearances, and no new members. Although why they haven't recruited a single new member since forming, so The Barden Bella’s can continue once its current members graduate is lost on me.

Unable to except defeat, and finding a loophole in their suspension the Bella’s vow to make a comeback, and redeem themselves by winning the A Cappella World Championships, which take place in Denmark at the end of the school year.

In the meantime they sniff out their competition, a heavily fake accented German a cappella group named; Das Sound Machine, who in all honesty are equally as average as The Barden Bella’s. The stereotypes given to the "German's" border on racist, but alas, it's funny so it's overlooked. However what can’t be over looked is the Bella’s need to take down this group with a vengeance as if they were the ones that caused the incident that led to their suspension. I guess every battle needs a villain and although it may no longer be WW1 the Germans are still to blame.

Anyways, life isn't all a cappella, there are other worries in life other than what cover song mash ups work best… and whatever else goes into being in an a cappella group, and for tough chick Beca (Anna Kendrick) that's becoming a music producer. The first step; working as an intern to an egotistical know-it-all who's self obsessedness is so outlandishly accurate, it's hilarious. Naturally in order to cause some sort of tension in an otherwise fluffy film, Beca has decided to keep her new job a secret from her friends. *Gasp!* because other than that it seems like time has stood still even though the years have passed; Fat Amy is still fat, Britney Snow is still trying to act like the protagonist instead of its bitch, and there are no good looking guys to swoon over.

As much of a mockery as I have made over the Bella’s and their bizarre love of the world of a cappella, it can't go without saying how cool some of the mash-ups were, most noticed when they brought back the popular Riff-Off segment that was first seen in the first film. All in all, my hopes for this film was never really that high to begin with, but it was funny at points, cute and had a whimsical enough element for me to recommend to you to see it in cinema.... if nothing else is showing.

Furious 7

We all know the saying coined by Good Charlotte; Girls don't like boys, Girls like Cars and Money but speaking on behalf of women everywhere I can contest to two out of three things in that statement, so I guess it’s fortunately for us this film gives us great looking guy with cars and money. Win win win.

Having now validated the relevance for Tokyo Drift by making it a sequel/backstory to Fast 7, things kick off with the introduction of Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham), older brother of the hospitalized Owen Shaw - Fast 6’s antagonist - and certified badass lunatic, who leaves devastation in his wake as shown when he exits the hospital his comatose brother is being kept by more or less burning it to the ground for some reason, before taking off in a sexy white Jaguar F-Type. Vroom

Having been a few years since the team’s rampage through the streets of London, the last thing they are expecting is to be hunted by the crazy brother of an old foe – which is understandable considering it seems like Deckard Shaw waited more than a year to come after them. That being said he did introduce himself with a bang, by first hospitalizing Hobbs’ (Dwayne Johnson), killing Han, then destroying Dom’s home. 
Dominic (Vin Diesel) is determined to take Shaw out before he can hurt anyone else, by forming an alliance with a covert operations team, led by a charming Belgium Cider loving man named Frank Petty (Kurt Russell) to find Ramsey a mysterious hacker that has been kidnapped because of the unique tracking software they have designed named God’s Eye – and Dominic’s main chance at putting an end to Shaw’s reign of terror.

The plan and schemes that were concocted too this film to a whole other level above the rest, as I was legit on the edge of my seat, breath held as cars did things that they were surely not meant to do and our character put their lives in the hands of air and God to pull off the most death defying stunts. I know I was impressed, and I have a feeling that Shaw was too as he was basically a creepy stalker weirdo in his one man crusade, chasing the crew from LA to  Abu Dhabi, causing havoc when things were crazy enough. Yowza.

I think a lot of people forget that as well as being an action movie, the Fast and Furious films are also hilarious - like seriously the amount of time I laughed out loud in the cinema as I sat by myself like a complete weirdo was innumerable. The comedy duo of Tej (Ludacris) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson)  adds a nice release to the tension filled action sequences and really just sets the believability of them being more than just a team but friends and brothers.

Fantastic would be an understatement in describing this film. The characters amidst the action have grown and developed which paved the way for sad endings, new beginnings and nostalgic moments. Of course I am primarily talking about the elephant in the room, the real life death of actor Paul Walker who played Brian O’Conner. I think how they honoured both Paul and Brian, with their exit from the franchise was very sweet, a little "Teen Angel" but still very sweet and filled with many feels, as it felt that in many ways the franchise – whether it continues or not - will never quite be the same.

The Avengers: Age of Ultron

I have been in a state of processing after seeing this movie, my immediate thought after viewing was to give it two and a half unicorns out of five....which is essentially a 6/10, in human terms. It feels as though I am pressured to love this movie as it is The Avengers, but I have never been one to conform to conventions. There was a moment of reflection that caused me to bump the film up to a 6.5/10 but I guess the way to get an unresolvable rating is to break it down. So lets get started.

The film didn't mess around, getting straight to the point through an amazing scene that allowed us to view all of our heroes in the their element, as they battled an army of Hydra initiatives in order to retrieve Loki's staff - a search it seems the team have been conducting for a very long time.

As well as finding the staff, they discover another hydra secret, genetically modifying humans to have supernatural abilities. Hydras best experiments are the Maximoff twins, Pietro (Aaron Taylor Johnson) and Wanda (Elizabeth Olsen), more favourable known by the comic book universe as  Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. The twins have a vendetta against Tony Stark which fuels their determination to destroy the Avengers, Scarlet Witch uses her ability to get into his mind and view his worse fear causing Tony Stark to build the ultimate defender who becomes the worlds greatest threat; Ultron

Ultron was originally created as a superior interface by Stark (Robert Downey Jr) and Banner (Mark Ruffalo) who managed to secretly harness the intergalactic power of Loki's staff. Ultron exceed expectations and fails to meet predicted requirements when he uploads himself into a number of Iron Man suits and attacks the unsuspecting Avengers calling them an enemy of Peace - Ooops. 

Always nine steps ahead and working with the supernatural twins  Ultron builds himself multiple sleek models so that he can easily upload himself should his form be destroyed - which was pretty darn cool. However it is soon discovered that Ultron wants to destroy more than the Avengers - Try the Earth; Go figure, with his devil inspired robotic form and his evil tone of voice and what not, who would have thunk it? 

The film explores problems with working in a team including trust, fear and hope - if you ask me they all need some kind of work retreat to get their issues in order, but there's no rest for the wicked or the uniquely skilled.

One of the most interesting things about The Avengers is that it brings together an assemble - no pun intended - of characters that already have their own deeper back story that can be and has been explored in their own separate movies which essentially means that there is no need for any fluff, they can just jump straight into the action with maybe a cleverly placed line or two that allows the audience who follow their individual stories to nod in understanding, and those who don't to be very quickly bought up to speed. That being said with so many characters it is easy to fall into plot holes, covering them up in post-production by cutting it between a bigger, more important and action packed scene. But we all know that "Fix it in Post" is a myth and by attempting to do so you just draw more attention to the problem.

I honestly think this film could not have been pulled off without the voice talents of James Spader who was behind the ruthless Ultron. With every head tilt, I could sense him channelling his Blacklist Character; Raymond Reddington. It was positively delightful and exceeding creepy hearing his deep emotionless voice singing along to a classic Pinocchio tune. - Chills.

It was nice to view the team just kicking back and having a laugh together when they thought the fight was over - Oh silly Avengers, the fighting is never over - and seeing a more.... humane side to them they don't have the luxury of wearing on their sleeves when their mission in life is to kill the bad guys.

With most films that have no sequential end in sight, I always ponder on where they can go next, whilst simultaneously holding on to some sense of continuity and originality. Although the ending left you with possible hints into the development of the team known as "The Avengers" and possible plot points for individual movies, I was ultimately left feeling uninspired. Would each new film just be cause to create a new and unrelated terror? If it forever to be Battle, Defeat, Repeat? Sure this is the core element of every movie, but I'll just say, if you want me to expect more, then you're going to have to give me more.

So this review was hella long, so apologies for that, but after getting out all my thought on this metaphorical paper, I think the film does in fact deserve a solid 7/10 which is a step up from 6, and translate roughly to...

Seventh Son

I often throw around the term: Waste of potential, in one form or another to quite a degree. But, it is so rarely that I mean that without a shadow of a doubt. The film Seventh Son is based on the novel by Joseph Delaney; The Spooks Apprentice. Having read the synopsis of the novel, this film was supposedly based, it is clear that they have disregarded the original plot and mainly followed the premise of being the seventh son of a seventh son. That of course is not the issue as some of the best films and TV shows that have are based on books have completely beaten their own path to acclaimed success (I'm looking at you Pretty Little Liars and The Vampire Diaries). 

Having gotten that out of the way, Seventh Son was basically a nothing. The characters were less than interesting as we trudged up and down the land with the drunk, miserable and old Spook, John Gregory (Jeff Bridges) and his latest apprentice who he bought Tom Ward (Ben Barnes). It honestly seemed like none of them wanted to do the job of capturing the escaped  Queen of darkness Mother Malkin (Julianne More). Which was probably the case for poor old boring Tom, the only thing keeping him around his abusive teacher who essentially taught him nothing was the hopes of bumping into the equally boring and ever plain Alice (Alicia Vikander).

The only enjoyment I derived from this film was the fleeting minutes we had with  Kit Harrington before we were downgraded to spend the rest of the film watching Ben Barnes who was probably the only one who didn't get the memo about this film being a big joke, meaning we had to endure him stumbling through what he clearly believed was "acting". 

I wasted 120 minutes of my life watching this film and I refuse to waste any more than I have to reviewing it. Just thank me for saving you that time, and do what I couldn't with it; go and see a different movie, ride a bike, go to dinner, I made this sacrifice so you didn't have to.

*No Unicorns*

Cinderella

There is really not much that can be said in the way of a Review for this retelling of the much loved fairy tale Cinderella, as Lilly James plays the sweet and gentle titular character, whose stepmother, Cate Blanchett lives by the phrase, Misery Loves Company. Making it her mission to break her step daughters spirit, it is left to Richard Madden who plays the dashing Prince, to sweep Cinderella, and us, off our feet, making us believe that the most complicated of problems can be solved if one only has courage and is kind.

This film follows all the key plot points;
-Orphaned? Check
-Made to clean up after selfish step family? Check
-Dances with Prince at ball? Check
-Talks to animals that can understand her and not think she has a mental disability? Check and check.

Those all being said, the definite high points that come to mind when thinking back to watching this film include an insight into the Princes life, which is a rarity when it comes to a Disney Princess films when they are treated as nothing but background eye candy. 
The magical events that surround the transformation of Cinderella from dirty scullery maid to Belle of the Ball was funny and fun, and could not have been so without the unique talents of Helen Bonham Carter. So props to her.

Finally on a bitter sweet note, I think that it was good for us to get to know Cinderella's parents before they died, as it made us as an audience connect with Cinderella, allowing us to feel her pain when she was left alone in a house that was no longer her home.

As stated, the moral of this Cinderella story, is to have courage and be kind, I on the other hand would rephrase that to; If it ain't broke don't fix it, as this live action tale is as Old, New, Borrowed and Blue as it was in 1950, but ever still a classic.

Jupiter Ascending

Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum's lives intersect when the fate of our earth comes into play in the cosmic battle for dominance between the Abraxas siblings, whose mother, and owner of the earth dies leaving it's fate in the balance.

Jupiter (Kunis) is unhappy in her monotonous and far from glamorous life of cleaning the homes of the wealthy with her mother and her aunt. Money is tight, and in order to buy a telescope akin to the one that her father died to protect before she was born, Jupiter decides to harvest her eggs, and this trip to the doctor will leave her life changed forever.

There are a number of separate parties gunning to get to Jupiter first, for their own personal gain, including Canine Wise (Tatum); A half human, half canine genetically engineered ex-soldier, sent to retrieve Jupiter. Initially hired to track her down his morals conflict with his obligations as he goes to extreme lengths to keep Jupiter safe.

Jupiter is more than in over her head in a world she has only just discovered, she doesn't understand the rules and she doesn't know what she can trust, all she knows is that she has to do what she can to save the only world she's ever known Earth.

Sounds exiting right?

Wrong.

Well yes you are right, but you are sorely mistaken as this film had a wealth of potential, and it disappointingly, but not unexpectedly, fell short. There were stunning galactic shots, out of this world costumes and some pretty amazing  fight sequences, not to mention hilarious one liners, But overall the premise of the film, which was essentially; the possibility of  Earth being harvested so that the rich could stay looking young,  left nothing to be desired. The film lacked momentum, it was rarely intriguing and finally ended on such a dull note there seemed to be no point in having started watching the film I the first place. Fair enough to Channing Tatum, but really Mila? We all expected better.

This films gets two unicorns as a consolation prize for Channing and Mila. Well done guys You Tried.... Well you showed up.