Insidious

Okay so this is one of the few films I will review of the horror genre, mainly because I don't really watch a lot of them. No this isn't because I'm scared; it's actually quite the opposite. I don't jump I don't flinch and I laugh.

In-Sid-I-oust: Proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with harmful effects.

I couldn't tell you if it's a conventional run of the mill horror film, but the general basis of this movie is about a little boy whose body is one step away from being repossessed by the evil spirits of the astro dimensional plane.

The little boy in question is Dalton Lambert (Ty Simpkins) and he along with his two siblings and parents have just moved to a new home. A while after they have moved in Dalton is playing and hears a sound in the attic, the brave and fearless Dalton goes up to investigate, but it ends in disaster as he falls and knocks his head. Dad Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) convinces Dalton he's fine and they go downstairs. Renai (Rose Byrne) on the other hand seems baffled at what could have led to his fall as she find things in the attic slightly out of place than when she last left it.
Seemingly fine at first, a day later when his dad tried to wake him up for school he is impervious to his calls and shakes. A rush to the hospital confirms that Dalton has slipped into an unexplainable comatose state.

Stay at home mother Renai soon starts to feel as though someone is watching her, and goes slowly and cautiously round corners expecting something but seeing nothing. Though as this feeling escalates she soon starts seeing random figures in or around the house. She can't take it anymore and begs her husband to move, though he has reassured her that it's probably nothing and that everything was going to be fine... Because that response worked so well the last time.

Eventually even he can't deny that the house has its problems so the up and move, thinking that a new house will have much better vibes.

Though they couldn't be more wrong and a shocking revelation from Josh's mother alarms Renai enough to call in a professional (Lin Shaye) who tells them that there's nothing wrong with the house per say, but more with their son. Something that every parent is just waiting to hear from a strange old lady.

I'm going to leave it there because it's too easy for me to slip into telling you the outcome of this movie. All I'm going to say is that things start to get a little freaky.

Sleep with your favourite stuffed toy tonight because this film has an insidious effect.

Pirates Of The Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides

Johnny Depp swings in to action for a fourth time as the swashbuckling always drunk but seemingly aware, eccentric pirate Jack Sparrow (Capt'in). He comes back to our screens with a new cast that includes the always alluring Penelope Cruz as Angelica, a love interest for Sparrow -At least now we know for sure he's not gay. Not that i had my doubts-. Our favourite frenemy Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa and with a new foe by the name of Blackbeard. Mythical creatures, thick forestry and trickery at every turn as our favourite and most unlikely protagonist goes on a hunt for the Fountain of Youth.

Okay introductions and pirate jokes aside, Im going to start off by being straight with you. I was disappointed with this movie. Kindly lower your weapons and hear me out.

The general plot for this fourth instalment is about Jack Sparrow finding the fountain of youth. If you saw the ending of the previous film, you'll know that he has a map of how to get to its secret location. Being one of the few people that know how to get there he is hunted down by a number of people who need to get to the fountain for various selfish reasons.

Former sea tyrant Captain Barbossa who now apparently works for the British Embassy is using his new government title for his own personal gain to help with the revenge he's plotting against a certain sea dog.

Angelica, who wants to get to the fountain of youth to help save her dying father, as well as spending a little time with her former lover Sparrow (Though this is the first time we're ever hearing of her)

Legendary Pirate Blackbeard who is running from a prophecy about how he is supposed to die, hoping to use the fountain as a loop hole to escape his decided fate.

I dont want to spoil it to much for you so here are a couple of choice words; Mermaids, Priests, Spaniards and ships in a bottle.

Throw this all together and you've got a bit of everything, but to many cooks spoil the broth and this is one storyline that just kept jumping unnecessarily from place to place. It had its classic laughable moments as well as a few whopping scenes that help to remind us what a scarily smart person the Captain himself is.

Whats left to say is that this movie only did so well by riding on reputation alone, im a massive Sparrow fan but i think its time they stopped plotting his next adventure unless they can come up with a solid storyline. If not then i guess we should have to just get used to seeing him in spoofs and Pirates of the Caribbean one through three.

Fast Five

So our super sexy stars are back to reprise their roles for us as Dominic Torreto (Vin Diesel) and Brain O'Connor (Paul Walker) take the wheel to give us another turbo charged experience that will have us clinging to the dashboard. -How man car related metaphors can you fit into a sentence?-

O'Connor and girlfriend Mia Torreto (Jordana Brewster) have been running from the authorities since we last saw them and they've ran all the way to Rio de Janeiro to track down friend and brother Dominic. It's all daisies and sunshine when they reunite and after a few revelations they decide that now, after months of dodging and shadow hiding it's time to disappear once and for all. But before they can do this they need to pull of one last heist, and like all good heists they need a team.

It's a trip down memory lane as our beloved convicts bring in a few faces from the past including O'Connor's childhood friend Roman Pierce (Tyrese Gibson) as well as a few choice acquaintances including Tej Parker (Chris "Ludacris" Bridges) and Han Seoul-Oh (Sung Kang) whose talents are going to be more than essential as they'll need to be even more cautious as this time round the rules have changed and the law has a new name as elite DSS federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) is sent in to bring in the boys once and for all. Suffice to say they need to bring out the big guns if they want any chance of thwarting their newest predator

The movie was filled with a lot more action packed stunts than the other three Fast and Furious movies (Like a good film reviewer I am choosing to ignore the existence of Tokyo Drift) and given that there was a lot more at stake for the characters I felt made things a lot more intense. As well as this, seeing Dwayne Johnson paired up against Vin Diesel is a fearsome sight to behold, to think that there was someone fierce enough to take down our fearless leader was riveting to watch for both WWE fans and females everywhere.
As to whether or not everything goes to plan, in Fast Five, I suggest you watch it and find out but regardless I wouldn't be surprised if we see the boys again to soon, well at least one. Diesel is to well suited for this role.

     

X-Men: First Class

A film that has a fourth in its series isnt really a film that you'd expect to be amazing right? Well, this X-men movie was defiantly top notch with a solid story line and a hard hitting cast it gave you a clear enough look into the past of some of our favourite X-Mean characters.

To help us understand the development of the main characters we jump into their past, as seems to be a key theme with the X-men movies. Firstly its off to a concentration camp in Germany 1944 where a Erik Lensherr of about 10 or 11 is a person of interest to the slightly psychotic Dr Schmidt. He goes to extreme lengths to make Erik move a coin across a table in order to prove his theory of the young boy having abnormal abilities.

We flit to a less painful scene in a large Gothic Mansion where we come to see how a young and fearless Charles first becomes acquainted with the ever so mysterious femme fatale Mystique.

Its now 1962 and CIA agent Moira MacTaggert, is tracking a US Army Colonel, having followed him to a illustrious bar and having witnessed an unexplainable event with some pretty extraordinary looking people she has a lot of explaining to do with no proof. In order to find some proof and an explanation, she ends up tracking down Professor Xavior in England Oxford University where she manages to convince him to come to the CIA and explain his thesis and the possible existence of mutants, not knowing that he himself is one.

Things escalate quickly, as Agent MacTaggert and Charles join forces and happen to stumble upon a stubborn Erik, who has his own agenda that happens to interlink with their own. It gets a bit messy as Erik and Charles start recruiting other mutants to help their cause - Even though everyone has a different idea about the end game once they've got their hands on the tyrant Dr Schmidt.

McAvoy played a most convincing Proffessor Charles Xavior, almost putting legend Patrick Stewart to shame if i do say so myself. He delivers a character that is both charasmatic, charming and has swagger. Kevin Bacons Tyrant Dr Schmidt is anything but footloose and frenzy free as he plays an unforgiving foe whose only concern is a means to an end.

The film ends with us getting an idea of how Charles ends up needing that wheel chair we are all too familiar with and leaving us hoping for a speedy sequal that will be equally first class.

TV: The Event

So when this show first aired i was intrigued but couldn't fit it into my very busy television schedule, but once it got to May/June and all the major shows were rounding off and coming to an end i thought to myself. Why not, i haven't got anything to loose, and thus like the telly addict I am i got hooked.

At first.

The first episode had enough mystique and random violence to immediately have you tuning in to the following episode. As as things progressed however, it became more complex as nobody seemed to be who they said they were, and we sat on our hands waiting for key characters to cross paths. When they didn't we'd get angry and want to slap the characters for going right when they should have gone left. Either way before you knew it, it was 4am and so you might as well just watch one more episode before turning in for the night....day.

As the episodes went on it felt as though the anticipation of said "Event" was what they were using to keep audiences. This got old, and fairly obvious roughly half way through and though each episode left you on a new cliffhanger ultimately you were left annoyed that another question had been added to the already long list of  unanswered ones.

In conclusion i think its a good think it wasn't picked up for a second season, though the actors were tolerable I feel as though the majority of us would just be tuning in more out of annoyance and curiosity to find out what the hell was going on and would sadly just end up being disappointed to find that the event wasn't that eventful.