Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

If there are any plans to turn other classical/mythological books such as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, or Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters into movies then bring it on. Despite what people have been uttering about the pure absurdity of the concept of this movie, I have stayed strong to my belief in it's complete and total originality and awesomeness. I was not wrong.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter or -Abes Lincs Vamps Hunts as I like to call it for short - is based on the belief that the 16th President of America moonlighted as a Vampire Hunter. What can I say? Presidents have had much worse secrets.

Portrayed by Benjamin Walker, honest Abe as a young boy watches his mother die and sets out to even the score with the monster that killed her, but just how much of a monster this killer was, is grossly underestimated. It becomes clear that if Abraham wants to avenge his mother he's going to need help. Enter the elusive and seemingly suave Henry Sturgees (Dominic Cooper) who opens Abraham's eyes to see who is contributing to the evil in the world. Training not only his body but his mind into knowing how to spot and destroy these monsters with the help of his weapon of choice: An Axe.

As it turns out getting his revenge is just the bottom rung of the ladder to see the big picture, as Abraham fights vampire after vampire to get to the man behind the curtain Adam (Rufus Sewell). Sadly before him and his nemesis have the chance to go mono et mono Abraham has to put his hunting days on hold. He meets Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) who soon becomes Mrs Lincoln, and as he slowly gains political interest after defending his black friend (Anthony Mackie) and starting the movement to abolish slavery...... and I guess the rest is history.

The film was beautifully made and has pretty much got me convinced that we have all been spoon fed what we believe is the truth. The effects and fight sequences had me on the edge of seat and the storyline had me egging for more. Only downside? I would have loved there to be a longer training sequence and maybe a double Axe move or two, but that's just me nitpicking. 


All that's left to add is that there is an uncanning resemblance between Benjamin Walker and Jason Dohring (Veronica Mars), but he did Honest Abe proud and looked good swinging around his axe. He would have gotten my vote.

Snow White and the Huntsman

In a way it was only fitting that I didn't enjoy Snow White and the Huntsman as from a young age Snow White and I have never quite seen eye to eye. She was plain, she was a pain and she wasn't that pretty. So as you can imagine, when I heard that Twilights Kristen Stewart would be playing her in this live action semi-adaptation, I don't think I could have cast it better if I tried.

Snow White and the Huntsman is more or less a medieval retelling of the Disney tale, taking a few elements from the original Brothers Grimm version. Minus the singing woodland creatures, the cute house in the woods, the idyllic setting and a prince. Kristen Stewart still somehow manages to play the title character and keep the original innocence and naivety despite her less than ideal circumstances, and all with a surprisingly decent British accent (I suspect she picked up a few things from her British boyfriend). Nevertheless that isn't enough to stop her evil stepmother Ravenna from sending her super creepy and freakishly devoted brother Fin (Sam Spruell) to finish off Snow White. 

Enter Chris Hemsworth (swoon) as the Huntsman, called in as reinforcement to help capture an escaped Snow White. With his own deal struck with the queen and agenda in mind he sets off with his sword and Scottish accent to track down Snow White in the Dark Forest.
Though he was the brutish reluctant aid to Snow Whites misdemeanour's, his performance was heavily under played and after a while I could no longer count on his character to get me through the remainder of the film. 

Evil Queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron) who's only leisure comes from sucking the souls of the beautiful and bathing in what I like to think of as milk, seemed more psycho bitch than blood thirsty sorceress. Her character depiction just wasn't believable and frankly she should have taken a leaf out of Once Upon A Times Evil Queen, played by actress (Lana Parrilla) who would have done the role justice.

The cast of Dwarfs provided the only comical element within the movie, I thought it a shame that the film wasn't focused on them alone. All in all the storyline lacked any real depth and there were no elements to emotionally attach the viewer to a single character or background story. Everything from the deaths, the journey and the happily ever after came to quickly leaving no suspense to keep you awake through this ultimately boring film. The only thrills came from Ravenna's Dementor inspired mirror that was a refreshing take on the classic floating head.