Spring Breakers

Spring Break, if you are an american college student is a must at some stage, for everyone else outside the borders of the East and West coast we are on the outside looking in. The movie Spring Breakers on the other hand I don't think quite counts as an accurate description of what we're missing, if it is then I'll gladly sit on the outside in the safety of the coldness of the UK.

College girls Candy (Vanessa Hudgens) Faith (Selena Gomez) Cotty (Rachel Korine) and Brittany (Ashley Benson) (Although don't feel bad if their names immediately made you think this was going to a female Magic Mike) are left behind in a deserted school as their classmates have already jetted off to enjoy two weeks of spring break. Barely saving enough for a Big Mac meal between the four of them, extreme measures are soon resulted to in the name of Spring Break, and before they know it they are off living the college dream in Florida.
Being drunk, getting high, trashing hotel rooms and whipping off those restricting bikini tops are all the norm, but then so is being in the wrong place at the wrong time and getting arrested as everything quickly goes south for our little angels.
Alien (James Franco) is a knight in shining grills for the little princesses as he gets them out of jail for a small price. Although he is both a stranger to these girls and a straight up creepy weirdo, they take him up on his offer to repay their debt and soon the wildness of Spring Break seems tame in comparison to this new jungle of madness they enter.
One by one our little Barbie Dolls try to escape the misadventure of spring break, but not everyone can be persuaded to to leave the grasp and pull of the thrills behind.

 For such a provocative personification of spring break, director Harmony sure picked a very Sugar Spice and Everything Nice cast. This included two ex Disney starlets a doe eyed Pretty Little Liar, and his wife..... No comment on that last note. The character of Gomez' Faith, was majorly flawed, she was a baggy clothed Christian one minute, then a bikini clad weed smoking party whore the next. Her character thus became the most annoying as we the audience couldn't quite work out which one of these people she was, or if she was just bipolar, which lets face it would have probably been the more creative option.
What was one of the most memorable moments was only made so by Britney Spears' Everytime as it's background music, which left the scene both haunting, beautiful and empty.
Overall the film tried to hard without really getting anywhere, it felt a bit like going to the toilet and waiting for something big to happen, but it ending up being a false alarm; A waste of time, annoying, dissatisfying and leaving you with a cold bum.