Your Highness

James Franco in a comedy and Natalie Portman in something that requires her to crack a smile, two combinations i never dreamed of as they both star in this comedic fantasy. 

Your Highness is the tale of two brothers, dashing Fabious (James Franco) and his almost as dashing brother Thadeous (Danny McBride) who are princes in a realm of general peace. Trouble ensues in their untroublesome lives when Fabious' wife to be Belladonna (Zooey Doouchenal) gets kidnapped by the Evil Wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux)

As with  any quest there are a few key elements that are required.
A bad guy: Evil Wizard Leezar (who is really just a big baby with abandonment issues)
Bad guys plan: Rule the kingdom
A goal: Rescue Belladonna from Lezzar and save the kingdom
Some thing to help you defeat the bad guy; Sword of Unicorn
And an enemy of your enemy that you can call your friend, vengeful traveller Isabel (Natalie Portman)
Most importantly a reluctant hero: Prince Fabious

When you put it all together and you've got a one sided love interest between Fabious and Isabel, some scenes that look like they were hijacked from 300. A prophecy that states that to take over the kingdom your need to sleep with an untouched maiden in order to impregnate her with a dragon. Yeah. My thoughts exactly.

The movie itself uses such, obvious and immature jokes, the kind that you'd snigger at when your that prepubescent age but for some reason it has an opposite effect and even though you know its outrageous you find your self clutching your stomach with laughing spasms of pain. They managed to encorporate an opening for a possible sequel and I just hope its comedic value is of the highness order.

Anuvahood

Yo blad this is gonna be a BADMAN review init...

Sorry couldn't resist, but don't worry i wont assault your ears or your eyes by writing like this any longer, coincidentally this is how the majority of people where i reside speak. Well maybe not word for word but there's a definite over active use of pointless slang in my area so this made it easier for me to understand this other wise foreign film.

Adam Decon (who stars, directs, wrote and produced the film) plays rude boy Kenneth (K), who longs to be an MC, he's already produced a mix tape,-irnonically named Bring The Pain- but it's done nothing for his rep (reputation) as he's still seen as the biggest joke on the block.

Things take a turn for the gangsta when K quits his job at Laimsbury's and in order to help his parents - who seem to have no jobs of their own - get the bailiffs off their back he starts selling drugs (weed) around the block. This doesnt go smoothly for long, as nothing seems to for unlucky K and he soon finds himself in a showdown with Tyrone (Richie Campbell) who is seen to be the local thug but i deem nothing more than a grotesque over grown bully.
When in trouble though K can always count on his homies (Friends) to run away screaming before he does, but though he messes and tests his friendship with them, ultimately -After much persuasion or out of pure guilt- they come to his aid.

Elements of the move progress quickly and the small quips and play on words such as K working at 'Laimsbury' and  a Big Brother  joke or two based on season seven contestant Aisleyne is smilable at best. Personally I don't see this movie going anywhere special, they should just quit while they're ahead and not make Anuvaone.

TV: The Boondocks

I am the stone that the builder refused, I am the visual...

With only 3 series and 45 episodes at 19mins each, it didn't take me long to watch them all. At first, having watched the first few episodes i didn't find it all that entertaining. But when I'm giving shows a trial run I only really start judging by the third episode. I'm glad to say that by the third episode I was entertained by brothers Huey, Riley (aged 10 and 8) and their Grandad Robert Freeman.

The kids have been sent to live with their grandad, though as with most TV shows the reasoning to why is vague and fuzzy. The suburban town they now reside is a culture shock for the kids who were raised in the city of Chicago, Illinois. The difference in environment, culture and weather is the basis of the show which helps to highlight both the living ways and mentality of a range of extreme African Americans. The show over exaggerates certain situations to give it a comical element whilst leaving you thinking "That kinda happened to me last week, but I'd never go that far..."

We all know about sibling rivalry but these kids take it to the extreme, using both a mix of advance karate and just your bog standard weaponary on each other during a daily beat-down. Its both a little conically strange yet mesmerising all the same.

Though the kids are essentially babies, eight your old Riley considers himself a gangstar, often referring to himself as "Young Reezy" a play off of Lil Waynes Weezy and Chris Browns Breezy. Calling ladies Bitches and generally swearing like there's no tomorrow.

On the other hand his older brother Huey, made distintive by his massive and oddly shaped afro, can be seen as the level headed of the two, being into politics and black rights doing all he can to explain his theories and promote equality, though being only nine ears old, nobody takes him seriously, giving him a pat on the head and fawning over how adorable he is.

Grandad Robert Freeman is a grumpy but loveable character who is just trying to live out his retirement in style and won't let Huey and Riley get in the way of him going out with various women he met over the internet or from being seen as a valued neighbour in the small community of Woodcrest.

There have been a vast number of guest appearances, and spoof characters mostly in the Afro Caribbean sector, as to help promote the key themes of the show including R Kelly, Barack Obama, Xzibit and Snoop Dog to name but a few.

Okay i know this just sounds like a sociology lesson about the impact of been black in a white society but the show is defiantly uniquely awesome and can be enjoyed and understood by people of all races. Three Unicorns.

Started Late March

Limitless

Yes its the guy from the Hangover, but by the end of this movie that brand will be no more as Bradley Cooper provides a character that is both believable and easy to sympathise with.

Edward "Eddie" Morra is essentially a lazy deadbeat, and when your a writer that's never a productive characteristic. His girlfriend Lindy (Abbie Cornish) leaves him, his editor wants to see the progress he's making on his book - one word - and he looks like shit. Its no surprise the film starts with him standing on the top of a multi-storey building a breath from death narrating how he got to this specific moment in time.

Skip back a while to the beginning of our protagonists story when we see Eddie on the way back home from another nothing day, when little does he know his whole life is about to change for ever when he unexpectedly bumps into his ex-wife's brother.

He knows that his ex-brother in law is into drugs and doesn't want to go down that route, even when Vernon Gant (Johnny Whitworth) explains that now he works for a pharmaceutical company that has produced a  nootropic drug called NZT-48 that's not yet on the market and allows you to access 100% of your brain as opposed to the rugular 20%. Though intrigued, Eddie is still a little reluctant but when he gets given a free sample, like any normal human being, he graciously accepts. And after a short time deliberating the pros and cons he realises that he does in fact have nothing to lose by experimenting with this drug.

It would be an understatement to say that his eyes were opened for the amount of time the drug lasts. As he gains knowledge, understanding and a sense of accomplishment as his brain works at an accelerated rate. This of course doesn't last, and after having just a taste of what he knows he can do with the help of NZT, he like many others before him was hooked.

He manages to get his desperate hands on more, but with now a regular supply to keep him 80% ahead of everyone else in the world, its a talent that a lot of people want on their side namely powerful businessman Carl Van Loon (Robert DeNiro). Suddenly in a lot of danger from other people who want to know his secret, that want to use his new mind for themselves and even from the NZT itself. Its no wonder that he ends up on the top of a building contemplating the limitlessness of death.

I Am Number Four

Its been two years since we've seen Alex Pettyfer and he's used his time away productively leaning to speak American. 

The beginning of the movie sees various people being hunted and killed in various locations around the world, we could presume this to be a mini back story. We then cut to Daniel Jones (Pettyfer) doing the normal teenager stuff, hanging with friends and going swimming in sunny Florida but this doesn't last. He is being hunted by an unknown predator (The Mogadorians) and though he manages a lucky escape he also reveals his more than normal teenager abnormality and has to leave town at the demand of his protector Henri (Timothy Olyphant).

With a new name and a new identity John Smith (Pettyfer) arrives in Paradise Ohio and tries to start anew, and soon befriends a conspiracy theory obsessed Sam, and lays eyes on Sarah Hart (Dianna Agron) who end up being dragged into the adventure that is his life. Luckily their in safe hands with Johns extraterrestrial ability to produce heat and light from his hands...

Cue a battle between a dog whose been hitting the gym a little too intensely and an out of this world monster that i can only really describe as a mix between a werewolf a dinosaur and a lizard. Enter a mysterious character in a whole lot of leather, and we've got ourselves a movie that's a little action-y mostly sci-fi with a dash of romance. Once you get to the end you realise that this film has skilfully managed to tell us nothing an leaves us anticipating a possible sequel.... Well personally, I Am all Four it.

TV: Sex and the City

Started Early January 2011 

So after watching the first movie, which i absolutely loved, i had it in mind to watch the TV series, this didn't happen and before long the second movie had come out. One frosty night me and a few friends decided to curl up in blankets and watch it on a laptop. Not as glamorous as watching it on my big screen back home, but it sufficed. Being the media student I am, I have quite a lot of free time on my hands and so I thought to myself; Merlin was over and I needed something to fill the void, why not kick start Sex and the City?

That was about a month ago and nowI'm finished with Sex and the City. I thought having watched the movies first that I would be confused when I started. Luckily all it did was have me anticipating the entrance of the characters I knew the four main protagonists would end up with.
The individual characters of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte helped to show the different scenarios of love and relationships, depending on what your expectations are and what the unexpected turns out to be.

To give the show a brief run down its essentially about four women living and working in New York City as they try (in some cases) to find a guy they want to settle down with. Its a good progress show in the sense that we see all the weirdos, losers and posers they date before they find there special someone. Its narrated from the point of view of main character Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) as she writes her column titled "Sex and the City" for a well known newspaper

The show its self is filled with old lady jokes, a whole lot of sex and a few strings of witty banter thrown in, I did thoroughly enjoy watching the series and at one point watched a whole series in a day. I also thought that by the end of it i had a whole lot of 'Independent Woman' thoughts flowing through the decisions i made in everyday life. Namely thanks to Samantha Jones played by Kim Cattrall. This review may come across as being really feminine and mushy, but it is certainly a unique series to behold and all the references that get made about it on various other shows is well deserved. I haven't given anything away but i think i would definately rate this as a Three Unicorn show.

Black Swan

This adaptation of Tchaikovskys Swan Lake moves away from the possible fairytale element of the story - Perhaps about a struggling Ballerina who finally makes her big break through Swan Lake, throw in some guy trouble and a bump in the road ultimately ending in her overall success and we've got ourselves a classic tale. The good thing about Aronofsky version is that he decides to focus on portraying the dark and cut throat side of the otherwise sweet and innocent personification of the ballet industry.

Natalie Portman stars as Nina Sayers, a twenty something goody goody ballerina, who according to the show director, Thomas (Vincent Cassel) just isn't strong enough to play the lead. Despite his early comment about her lack of capability in playing both The Swan Queen and the Black Swan, he picks her. Much to her competitors disgust.

This is where things take a turn for the super creepy and uber unexplainable. Now being cast as the lead, Nina is the centrepiece piece of the production and the importance of her role makes her question a lot of things in her life. There's a lot of things wrong with how she lives her life to me but lets focus on the key points, namely how her mother (Barbara Hershey) keeps her under her thumb, almost to the point of obsession.

With Nina now purchased and inserted her new back bone, its the perfect time for the appearance of Mila Kunis - enter stage left - as Lily the american transfer student that makes life for Nina a little bit like what you'd imagine Tim Burtons version of Wonderland to be. 

All that's left to say is that this film has a few shots that make your toes curl, some that make you want to hide behind your hands in embarrassment and others that have you shouting at the screen in frustration. Like every good psychological thiller your left thinking what the duck just happened.

Movie Categories for 2010

If that list was far to long for you.

1. Best Movie
The Departed

2.Funniest Movie
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

3. Most Bizarre
Burn After Reading & Being John Malkovich

4. Mind Blowing
Fight Club & Kill Bill

5. Cheesiest
Fame

6. Predictable
He's Just Not That Into You

7. Biggest Let down
The Bucket List

8. Unexpectedly Awesome
12 Angry Men & Domino

9. Couldn't Even Finish
It's A Wonderful Life

10.Waste of Time
Fast and Furious; Tokio Drift

Movies watched in 2010

There should be about 200, and i apologise if i happen to have repeated any. So yeah peruse and just comment if you wanna mini review and my un/bias rating out of 5.


The Spirit 
21 
Coyote Ugly 
The Duchess
The Game 
The Jane Austen Book Club 
Another Cinderella Story 
The Breakfast Club 
Elizabethtown 
Hitch
88minutes 
Get Smart 
Se7evn 
Crossroads 
8Mile 
One Missed Call 
The Princess and the Frog 
Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief 
Footloose 
Push 
Confessions of a Shopaholic 
Definatley Maybe 
Burn After Reading 
Gladiator 
Sleepy Hollow 
Mystic Pizza 
Fools Rush In 
Becoming Jane 
Barbie and the three musketeers 
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 
The Hunchback Of Nortre Dame 
Juno 
Franklyn
Premonition 
Underworld: Rise of the Lycra 
The Young Victoria 
TheMatrix 
Watchmen 
It's A Wonderful Life 
In Her Shoes 
Bee Movie 
The Matrix Reloaded 
The Matrix Revolutions 
Pride and Prejudice (2005) 
Kill Bill Volume 1 
Robocop 
Nick and Nora'sInfinte Playlist 
West Side Story 
Pretty Woman 
12 Angry Men 
Pride and Prejudice (2003) 
Italian Job 
Pride and Prejudice (1995) 
Hotel for Dogs 
What a Girl Wants 
The Perfect Catch 
The Shining 
The Holiday 
The Phantom Of The Opera 
New York New York 
Runaway Bride 
The Legend Of Zorro 
Domino
Bring It On Fight To The Finish 
He's Just Not That In To You 
The Leauge of Extraordinary Gentlemen 
The Hannah Montana Movie 
Race To Witch Mountain 
Hellboy 
Hellboy 2 
Secret Window 
Troy 
RocknRolla 
Notting Hill 
Election 
Drag Me To Hell 
Your So Cupid 
Dragonvall Revolution 
Starstruck 
Kill Bill Volume 2 
300 
Alfie 
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past 
17 Again 
Coraline 
12 Rounds 
The Bucket List 
Sex and the City 
Barbie and the Mermaid Tale 
Billy Eliot 
The Back Up Plan 
Shaun Of The Dead 
Public Enemies 
Yes Man 
The Usual Suspects 
The Women 
Monsters Vs Aliens 
Sence and Sensibility 
Perfect Stranger 
Sunshine Cleaning 
Once Upon a Time In Mexico 
The Favor 
The Butterfly Effect 3 
Paper Heart 
She's all That 
Pathology 
Back To The Future 
Back To The Future 2 
Back To The Future 3 
Tormented 
Dead Happy 
Man in the Iron Mask 
She's All That 
Land of The Lost 
Fired Up! 
Mansfield Park 
Persuasion 
Star Trek 
Snakes On A Plane 
Four Weddings and a Funeral 
The Road To El Dorado 
Indiana Jones and the Raiders Of The Lost Ark 
Space Chimps 
Batman and Robin 
Batman Forever 
Catwoman
Eragon 
Oliver Twist 
Xmen Origins: Wolverine 
Gangs Of New York 
Inglouriuos Bastards 
Oliver! 
Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom 
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 
Catch Me If You Can 
Fight Club 
Cool World 
Thelma and Louise 
Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars 
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button 
Being John Malkovich 
Bride and Prejudice 
The Legend Of The Secret Pass 
The Three Musketeers 
Inception 
The Rocky Horro Picture Show 
Year One 
The Untouchables 
The Mexican 
The Proposal 
Gamer 
Shorts 
Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the Crystal Skull 
My Best Friends Wedding 
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen 
Adventureland 
Team America: World Police 
Jersy Girl 
The Departed 
Fame 
Lower Learning 
The Fast and The Furious 
The Fast and Furious 
The Pursuit of Happyness 
Merlin 
2Fast 2Furious 
Bridget Jones's Diary 
Bridget Jones; The Edge of Reason 
Riding in Cars with Boys 
Hostage 
Scary Movie 
Heartbreakers 
(500) Days of Summer 
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 
King Arthur 
RED 
Jennifer's Body 
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1) 
The Ugly Truth 
GI Joe; Rise of the Cobra 
Nine 
Surrogates 
Julie & Julia 
Law Abiding Citezen 
Zombieland 
Couples Retreat
Time Travellers Wife 
4 Christmases 
Thick As Theives 
The Education of Charlie Banks 
Risky Business 
Interview of a Vampire 
The Taking of Phelham 123 
Final Fantasy VII 
Hot Fuzz 
The Fast and The Furious: Tokio Drift 
Duplicity 
Fantastic Mr Fox 
Beauty and the Beast

TV: Merlin

In a land of myth and a time of magic...

Being the loner that I am as well as not having the luxury of a sky plus box since being at university, I decided to start watching a few shows that i had wanted to in the past but for one reason or another - mostly due to the fact that i was watching too many shows - couldn't. My new flatmate was on the couch watching Merlin one Saturday and i remembered that I loved the BBC's adaptation of Robin Hood, so this was a good place to start.
And so the obsession began. Actually obsession is a strong word, more like the absorption or consumption, because that what I did. I consumed Merlin by the day, the BBC were currently broadcasting the third season so i had two and a half seasons to catch up with, each week putting me behind by an episode.

Loving historical dramas as well as magic it was given that i was going to enjoy the show. Merlin is based on a character of the same name who is sent to Camelot by his mother who feared that his gifts would eventually get noticed in the small town they lived. Whilst in Camelot he stays with a friend of his mother Gaius the court physician (Though their connection is never really explained.) After only a day in Camelot where he helps save Prince Arthur from an assassination attempt, he is appointed as his..... much to Arthur's obvious delight.
The whole magical community is relying on Merlins as it is his destiny to help Prince Arthur to see that magic isn't as evil as his father makes it out to be, but this isnt easy as one force or another is doing its best to bring down Camelot by any means.
Other characters we meet whose lives and stories become more and more essential in each series include Morgana, the Kings ward, Guinevere her chambermaid as well as even King Uther himself as we find out the real reason behind his blind hatred for all things magical.

Though there is a 4th season coming out in fall 2011 and a 5th season has recently been confirmed for 2010. I'm trying to judge the likeliness of it being the last, how much can you actually do before the inevitable has to happen. Either way, the script is both hilarious and believable and I have had to muffle my own laughter many a-times in the dead of the night as not to disturb my flatmates. Defiantly a Four and a half Unicorn show.

Started Early October 2010

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, the penultimate movie of the final book. If you couldn't wrap your head around that, then I take it you've been living under a rock for the past nine years. The advice i give to you is this; Rush to your nearest library or bookstore and rectify this mistake before July 15th 2011.

The beginning of The Deathly Hallows shows the Dursley - Harrys beloved Aunt, Uncle and Cousin- all packed and ready to hit the road. We can only assume this was their heartfelt goodbye as we don't see them again. Harry isnt left alone for good as soon after he's joined by some familiar faces and its almost like looking in a mirror. But things don't stay light and fluffy for long, and the chase begins. as . 

As previously mention by Harry he wasnt returning to Hogwarts, so with Ron and Hermione in tow, we find our young wizards on a quest to find and destroy the Horcruxs' armed with gifts from the ever cryptic Dumbledore -A children's book, a zippo lighter and a snitch- and with these in hand they take off to find the items that will help to end Voldermorts reign of terror over the wizarding world. 

 A few heavy moments that really makes you realise that everythings changing and ending but other than that there really isnt much i can say that wont give away to much of the plot. I can tell you to bring a pair of comfortable shoes and maybe the actual Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows books as there are a few woodland scenes that just get a tad repetitive.

I thought the film was on a continuing bell curve, with its various nail biting jaw dropping scenes juxtapsed with the yawing ones, but it's not poor Harry's fault he's surrounded by a deathly Halo and i guess we shall just have to wait till Part 2 in July to find out if he survives or not...

I would have liked to have given it 3 unicorns, but i feel like the extra would have just been because of my undying love for the books.

RED

RED, or Retired and Extremely Dangerous for short willl give youngsters something to look forward to in 50 years and leave the older crowd ditching Bowls and signing up for Kickboxing. Frank Moses (Willis) is a retired Black Ops CIA Agent who spends his days tearing up his pension cheques just to have an excuse to speak to customer service representative Sarah. This retired bliss doesn't last as things begin to escalate quickly. 

Franks house is gunned down in the middle of the night and realising his life is in danger and most likely Sarah's as well, he races to get her -Not leaving no as an option.- Together the pair aim to regroup with a few of Moses' old pals (Pun unintended) which include a paranoid John Malcovich, suave Morgan Freeman and Helen Mirren who refuses to be left in the kitchen.

Julian McMahon does what he does best and plays the role of a wolf in sheep clothing. But i think we have to say that the Vice President Sheep outfit was a tad obvious.

Its all in a days work and the team will definatly teach the young whippersnapper CIA agent William Cooper (Karl Urban) a thing or two.

REDiculsly loveable and perfectly suitable for people under the age of 65.

Easy A

Emma Stone plays Olive, a high school nobody who rises to popularity when she becomes the local faux floozy after helping out a friend in need. Embracing this rise to fame comes naturally - As is does to every high schooler with no more than one friend - So to keep herself on top - Figuratively speaking - she helps out a few more LBR's (Losers Beyond Repair).

An interesting addition to the plot occurs when we realise that Olive is living in a modern day Footloose town, as the generic popular group are revamped to be Christians. Naturally the girls are still slathered with make up and wear mini skirts but they use "A higher power" (as Amanda Bynes states) as a form of trying to help Olive see the error of her ways. Its a curious attempt at originality but we accept the characteristics without more than a raised eyebrow.

No good deed goes unpunished, and after a while the weight of her actions -That or the collective annoyance of Amanda Bynes and her posse - combined with the strategic appearance of token hot guy Todd, (Gossip Girls Penn Badgley) allow her to realise that she doesn't like being treated like an outcast and wants her name cleared.

In conclusion the film is a laughable - in a good way - and though the plot wont have you gripping to your seat and biting your nails, you'll definitely enjoy watching this easy movie.
The only point i have trouble excepting is that she compares herself to Nathaniel Hawthorne's Scarlett Letter protagonist Hester Prynne who conceives a daughter through an adulterous affair and struggles to create a new life of repentance and dignity. Watch the movie and you'll see where i'm coming from.